Surviving Basic Training

Basic Training, for many of us it's our very first experience with the military, and to be honest it isn't a pleasant one. Let's just consider it an adjustment phase. 

Getting Ready:
Of all the information that I got there have been some stellar suggestions from women who have been there, here are the ones I found most useful:
1. SEND his phone with him. No matter what the recruiter says, and worst comes to worst they will just hold it until he graduates.
2. Send stamps and envelopes enough for a couple weeks until he can get them himself. 
3. Send money, but not too much. In Paul's case it was stolen, and most things he can purchase with a debit card anyway. 
4. You won't have any communication for about a week, so send a couple letters for him to read during that time. 
5. Get power of attorney...there are plenty of free fill-in-the-blank forms online and most banks will notarize it for free if you have an account there. (PNC does) There is not really a reason not to, and several reasons to (car buying, credit cards, student loans, medical information) 
6. Make a contingency plan for your vehicle breaking down, major purchases, etc. I had to buy a car without Paul's knowledge and while I didn't like that, at least we had decided previously that I should if need be.
7. Make sure you have a lot going on the first week he's gone. Have dates with friends or family already planned, and stick with it. You need those people more than ever. 

MEPS and Saying Goodbye
I dropped Paul off with the recruiter and then drove Cleveland to check into the hotel. (He gets about 5 hours free that night and having a hotel room in the same hotel makes seeing each other easier.) The next morning I drove over to MEPS and met Paul and his family for the swearing in. It's a cool things to see if you can get there and usually not too far from home. It will take awhile for everything to get set for the swearing in, but be ready because it moves quickly after that. They have about 10 minutes to say goodbye before they are shipped off to the airport. Depending on when their flights leave you may want to drive to the airport as well. Paul had three hours so I went and I'm so glad I had that last little bit of time with him. Don't be afraid to take the time to cry before driving home. 

Basics of Basic
The toughest part of Basic for me was just not knowing how Paul was doing. You'll get a call about a week in if you're lucky and another one when processing is over and he begins training. (it will be a minute long call just telling you his information...be sure to write down everything you can.) You now have all the information you need to send mail, but putting it together can be tricky. I didn't realize I had it all and waited another week to get the letter about his address. Ft. Benning's outline is as follows:
Rank Last Name, First Name
Roster #   (If you don't have this it will still get to him)
Company, Battalion
Street Address
Ft. Benning, GA 31905

Drill Sgts are a little like babysitters (not in a derogatory sense) because they get to decide what and when privileges will be given to your soldier. So even though one platoon may get to do something it doesn't mean they all will. In our case I got a phone call approximately every two weeks on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. The first time I missed a call because I was at work was crushing, it sucks, but there isn't always a way around it. So, I started occasionally texting him pictures or sending voice-mails knowing that if he got his phone and I wasn't available he would at least get to see/hear me. 

Things get better when the letters start coming regularly. And I know that getting letters on Paul's side was the breath of fresh air that kept him going. Send as many as you can, get his address out to friends and family , and don't wait for letters to respond. (We found out it would take about 2 weeks for me to send him a letter with a question, he reads it and responds, and I get the letter.) I mailed 6 letters a week, but I had a lot of time on my hands. :) 

If he asks you to mail him something assume he knows if it's okay. You can find different answers to anything you don't know if you can send him or not. My general rule was if he asks for it send it and nothing else. Things I sent that got through: sugar free cough drops (almost like money on the inside,) a sewing kit, articles, newspaper clippings, batteries, a flashlight, and some other things. Cookies though, did not make it through. 

Family Day (in place of graduation for OSUT units) 
You know when you start excitedly counting down in MONTHS, not days, you must be married to someone in the military. For soldiers in OSUT training Family Day is a 48 hours pass that marks the transition between BCT and AIT. I flew to Georgia a day early just so I could check in to the hotel and be rested before picking up Paul (plus it was cheaper to fly in on Thursday than Friday.) On Friday afternoon, after several attempts to get on base including once getting on and then accidentally driving off, everyone who was arriving was directed to the right building. There (after an antagonizing wait) we got to see our soldiers marched in and then we were brief ed and set free! There are no important notes I can make on the weekend except ENJOY IT!! It was incredible, and being together is like remembering what it feels like to truly be alive. To come out of a self-induced hibernation and be with the one you love. 

On sending things back on post with him: often in AIT soldiers have more down time, so a book isn't a bad idea for a "BCT graduation gift" I brought Kafka's short stories and a Arabic-English Dictionary. Additionally, I got Paul a good outdoor's watch that he has said has proven very useful. Pictures are good too, Paul an I celebrated our 2nd anniversary two days early during his 48, so I put together a photo book (plus it meets my "paper" anniversary gift requirement)